2. Feel the Fear
Max returns to one of his favourite artists booths. The last time we met Stephen Hasegawa, Max drew in his log book. Three years later here Max is adding another drawing to Stephens book!
Yesterday when I published my announcement of doing this 100 day project I freaked out.
I mean, I am someone who starts a LOT of things. Sometimes I finish things, and sometimes I don’t. I had this horribly feeling that what would happen if I only posted for 7 days. What if I ran out of feelings and thoughts. What if I sucked at being good as an artist? What if I forgot how to create collages? What would happen if I failed?
I think it’s something that is on the mind of so many artists these days. Let’s be honest, for the past 2 years there hasn’t been much live performance happening, and if you don’t do something regularly, well, it could be bad. I need to remind myself, that it’s important to be honest here on this blog. I am not documenting all of this to show you how EASY it was, or how GREAT I am. I am doing it to mark a time in my life where I went big, where I felt supported as an artist. I am writing about a time where I was surrounded by 4 other artists and a team of other supporters who wanted me to really take chances.
My question to you is what happens when you fail? Do you just throw in the towel and give up? Does it make you try harder the next time?
I ended up going to The Artists Project in Toronto. In times where I find myself overwhelmed with doubt, I seek inspiration. It was wonderful, if surreal to be at an in person art event for the first time in 2 years. I was inspired by Sandra Tarantino, Genie Kim, Stephen Hasegawa, Sara Purves, Danielle Cole and Aggie Armstrong.
Sometimes when I am feeling afraid I hang out with my son Max, who is an 11 year old artist who is wise beyond his years. Watching him talk with senior artists and letting them know what it is that he loved so much about their art buoyed me. On our ride home I told him how proud I was of him, and he said that he was proud of me.
I am still afraid of failing, and not sure that I can always do what I set out to do, but as long as I try to do the work, something will come up. It might not be perfect, but it will be something.